Funniest Fred and George Quotes

The funniest to me is when they are at the Burrow in every book

when they were trying to cheer up ron, after scabbers so called death.

Cheering up Ron? What about when they tried to cheer up Ginny in CoS? Jumping out in boils or fur while Ginny runs away screaming?! Funny, but I like Ginny, so I'm glad Percy made them stop. ONLY reason I knew he'd come to his senses.

I love every fred and george quote but i think the part that made me laugh the most...I was really tired at the end of OTP and when harry is tearing apart dubledores office and he says"by all means continue to tear apart my things I daresay i have to many...I laughed so hard i cried!

It was also very funny:
"This just made harry angrier. Dumbledore had no business being weak when Harry wanted to rage and storm at him."
Technically it was not spoken, but it was in the book.

"Need a hand?" —George's first line first words from their mouths

The funniest quote I think is in The Order of the Phoenix when Molly finds out that Ron got Prefect and she says "That's everyone in the family!"
And George replies "What are Fred and I, next door neighbours?"
It cracks me up everytime.

'What's that? Said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightning scar.
'Blimey,' said the other twin. 'Are you –?'
'He is,' said the first twin. 'Aren't' you?' he added to Harry.
'What?' said Harry.
'Harry Potter,' chorused the twins.
'Oh, him,' said Harry, 'I mean, yes, I am.' (PS6)

'Oh, are you a Prefect, Percy?' said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. 'You should have said something, we had no idea.'
'Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it,' said the other twin. 'Once– '
'Or twice–'
'A minute– '
'All summer–'
'Oh, shut up,' said Percy the Prefect. (PS6)
'Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –'
'Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.'
'Great idea though, thanks, Mum.'
'It's not funny. And look after Ron.'
'Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.'
'Shut up,' said Ron again.
…
'Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.'
'We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.'
'George!' (PS6)

'Merry Christmas!'
'Hey, look – Harry's got a Weasley jumper, too!'
Fred and George were wearing blue jumpers, one with a large yellow F on it, the other with a large yellow G.
'Harry's is better than ours, though,' said Fred, holding up Harry's jumper. 'She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family.'
'Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?' George demanded. 'Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm.'
'I hate maroon,' Ron moaned half-heartedly as he pulled it over his head.
'You haven't got a letter on yours,' George observed, 'I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid – we know
we're called Gred and Forge.'

'Now, we'll go upstairs really quietly,' said Fred, 'and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast. Then Ron, you come bounding downstairs going, 'Mum, look who turned up in the night!' and she'll be all pleased to see Harry and no one need ever know we flew the car.' (CS3)

Harry is rumoured to be the Heir of Slytherin: Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, 'Make way for the heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through …'
Percy was deeply disapproving of this behaviour.
'It is not a laughing matter,' he said coldly.
'Oh, get out of the way, Percy,' said Fred, 'Harry's in a hurry.'
'Yeah, he's nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant,' said George, chortling. (CS12)

'Oh, that,' said Ginny, giggling. 'Well – Percy's got a girlfriend.'
Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head.
'What?'
… 'You won't tease him, will you?' she added anxiously.
'Wouldn't dream of it,' said Fred, who was looking as if his birthday had come early.
'Definitely not,' said George, sniggering. (CS18)

George: 'We tried to shut him in a pyramid,' he told Harry. 'But Mum spotted us.' (PA4)

'The Ministry's providing a couple of cars,' said Mr. Weasley. Everyone looked up at him.
'Why?' said Percy, curiously.
'It's because of you, Perce,' said George seriously. 'And there'll be little flags on the bonnets, with HB on them –'
'– For Humongous Bighead,' said Fred.
Everyone except Percy and Mrs. Weasley snorted into their pudding. (PA4)

'Where is Wood?' said Harry, suddenly realising he wasn't there.
'Still in the showers,' said Fred. 'We think he's trying to drown himself.' (PA9)

'Come on, Ron, you were always saying how boring Scabbers was,' said Fred bracingly. 'And he's been off-colour for ages, he was wasting away. It was probably better for him to snuff it quickly. One swallow – he probably didn't feel a thing.'
'Fred!' said Ginny indignantly.
'All he did was eat and sleep, Ron, you said it yourself,' said George.
'He bit Goyle for us once!' Ron said miserable. 'Remember Harry?'
'Yeah, that's true,' said Harry.
'His finest hour,' said Fred, unable to keep a straight face. 'Let the scar on Goyle's finger stand as a lasting tribute to his memory…' (PA13)

Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?' said Fred.
'That was a sample of fertiliser from Norway!' said Percy, going very red in the face. 'It was nothing personal!'
'It was,' Fred whispered to Harry, as they got up from the table. 'We sent it.' (GF5)

'If the Hogwarts Express crashed tomorrow, and George and I died, how would you feel knowing that the last thing we ever heard from you was an unfounded accusation?'
Everyone laughed, even Mrs Weasley. (GF10)

'FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!' screamed Mrs Weasley. 'THERE WAS NO NEED – I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS – JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WAND OUR FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!'
'We were just trying to save a bit of time!' said Fred, hurrying forward to wrench the bread knife out of the table. (OP5)

'Prefect?' he [Fred] said, staring incredulously at the letter. 'Prefect?'
…
'No way,' said George in a hushed voice.
'There's been a mistake,' said Fred… (OP9)
'Yeah,' said Fred slowly. 'Yeah, you've [Harry} caused too much trouble, mate. Well, at least one of you's got their priorities right.'
He strode over to Harry and clapped him on the back while giving Ron a scathing look. (OP9)
'I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!'
'What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?' said George indignantly… (OP9)