Three Word Story

Thanks for your brush off.

I think that the inclusion of a questionable link in a family-oriented board was the last straw.

However, the poster is not some fly-by-night spammer with evil -- or worse yet, commercial -- intent. He is a regular who has made countless quality contributions.

Hey – what do you want? Young men are stupid. You let them out of the play pen for a few years and they forget what the rules are. It’s a post-adolescent / pre-parenthood thing.

The solution is to spell it out, “we don’t want that here,” and don’t hope to explain it. It’ll come to him someday.

The offensive link seems to be gone already. I can’t find it. Unless someone corrects me, I will assume that the poster himself has already had the sense to remove it.

Last straw? What exactly was the problem before this link was posted? Lest I remind you that you were an active participant in the thread and with the exception of your attempted hijack (which by the way was one of the complaints) you never said a word about anything.

I love how you "support" me and then call me stupid. How wonderful. Go to www.4forums.com. That's the discussion board the link came from. Go there and then tell me that it's a place questionable material comes from.

If you want to think of yourself as the mom around here, be my guest, but don't treat me as one of your children.

Actually, I did. It wasn't a big deal and the thread moved on.

What do you want from me? I didn't make the world. I just have to find ways to deal with it.
Young men are not good at figuring out what's ok for little kids. This is not news. Whether it's a hardware or a software problem (nature/nurture) is a matter of opinion, but it's still one of those timeless realities. There's nothing new under the sun. And you're in good company.

Well, I took one glance. For a second, I thought of listing in this post the topics on that first page. Then I remembered the point -- that this is a family-oriented board, and that even the titles are inappropriate.

Maybe that's the trouble -- a definition for words like "questionable" and "inappropriate." These words do NOT mean, "Bad from every angle, no matter who you are or where you go."

College is the perfect place to discuss some of those topics. They are extremely important issues and absolutely should be discussed, thoroughly and even heatedly.

The gutter is a good place for other topics. While they have no redeaming social value, they're harmless enough in their place. As long as you don't include eight-year-olds.


A few decades ago, some people might have used the phrase, "boys will be boys," but that out-dated phrase implies a tolerance for certain behaviors that are, today, intolerable.

While a significant improvement over the barbarians of the past, the young men of today remain stupid in some, less offensive, ways. Like the honest inability to comprehend why a link like that would be objectionable to anyone. If you don't get it, no explanation will suffice.

Make a copy of the link that started this discussion, tuck it away, and read it again when you have a twelve-year-old daughter. It will suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

Make a copy of the front page that I just saw, and you'll only need to wait until you have a five-year-old.

Not much chance of that. I have no desire to be your mom. But I do have a prejudice: I don't like divisions.

That outdated phrase, "boys will be boys" acknowledges the timeless reality that young men are stupid, but also implies a profound hopelessness. Lots of people, even still today, want to draw lines between certain age groups to avoid contamination. I do not accept this hopeless attitude.

For example, New Jersey State Law says that we must draw a firm line between the fifth and sixth grades, limiting their opportunities for social interaction. They want as little contact as possible between the little kids and the big kids. The Great State of New Jersey bases its laws on the assumption that all kids go bad when they reach a certain age, and that there ain't nothin' you can do about it. Then they draw another line betweem middle school and high school.

(Don't tell anyone, but we ignore this stupid law at my kid's tiny school. Our multi-age groupings are working just fine. The older kids are aware that they are role models and take the job seriously. We have eighth-grade boys hugging kindergarteners, zipping their coats, helping them at lunch... No adult tells them to do anything in particular, it just comes naturally when the setting allows it. Try that in most schools and... well, no one would dare.)

My own prejudice is that I don't like divisions. I like the idea of this club as a single community.
Maybe trying to put this concept into a sound bite was a dumb idea -- presenting a string of arguments you've probably never heard, then saying that they're all hogwash. If you're still awake and want an expanded explanation, let me know.

Previous statements have been removed.

I see that a new thread was created. Hopefully, everyone can enjoy the new thread. Please keep it clean and remember that little ones and old ones are on this board.

Let me first say that I do understand the issue with the original links. My problem was with the way it was handled and reacted to.
Actually, I did. It wasn't a big deal and the thread moved on.[/b][/quote]
About what? Besides your hijack? Besides, the fact that the thread moved on was exactly my point to the admin.

What do you want from me? I didn't make the world. I just have to find ways to deal with it.
Young men are not good at figuring out what's ok for little kids. This is not news. Whether it's a hardware or a software problem (nature/nurture) is a matter of opinion, but it's still one of those timeless realities. There's nothing new under the sun. And you're in good company.[/b][/quote]
What do I want from you? Only for you to stop your two-faced, passive aggressive junk with me.

Well, I took one glance. For a second, I thought of listing in this post the topics on that first page. Then I remembered the point -- that this is a family-oriented board, and that even the titles are inappropriate.
[/b][/quote]
You're kidding me right? How on earth is that a questionable link? I mean, with thread titles such as "Debating that Random doesn't exist," "Darwin's finches evolve," "US Penny," and "Fav President" we all should be cowering in fear for the welfare of our children.

Not much chance of that. I have no desire to be your mom. But I do have a prejudice: I don't like divisions.

That outdated phrase, "boys will be boys" acknowledges the timeless reality that young men are stupid, but also implies a profound hopelessness. Lots of people, even still today, want to draw lines between certain age groups to avoid contamination. I do not accept this hopeless attitude.

For example, New Jersey State Law says that we must draw a firm line between the fifth and sixth grades, limiting their opportunities for social interaction. They want as little contact as possible between the little kids and the big kids. The Great State of New Jersey bases its laws on the assumption that all kids go bad when they reach a certain age, and that there ain't nothin' you can do about it. Then they draw another line betweem middle school and high school.

(Don't tell anyone, but we ignore this stupid law at my kid's tiny school. Our multi-age groupings are working just fine. The older kids are aware that they are role models and take the job seriously. We have eighth-grade boys hugging kindergarteners, zipping their coats, helping them at lunch... No adult tells them to do anything in particular, it just comes naturally when the setting allows it. Try that in most schools and... well, no one would dare.)

My own prejudice is that I don't like divisions. I like the idea of this club as a single community.
Maybe trying to put this concept into a sound bite was a dumb idea -- presenting a string of arguments you've probably never heard, then saying that they're all hogwash. If you're still awake and want an expanded explanation, let me know.
[/b][/quote]
Thanks for this long-winded rant that had absolutely nothing to do with what I said.

but has everything to do with the original problem.
You're welcome. Any time. I got a million of 'em.

The four topics you've listed are probably the only quotable ones on the page. I didn't notice any of them. Possibly because my eyes were scortched by the vast majority of topics, which were questionable.

Enjoy your link. Build up those brain muscles and change the world. That's your job. The world is depending on people like you to smarten it up. (No, that's not sarcasm.)

My BA was in Special Ed, so I could go on for a while about developmental issues. The neurological pathways are not fully formed, the hardware isn't there yet... brain chemistry... They will not benefit from exposure to such issues. (can't take it... must write 500 page book...)

Like I said, read it again when you have a five-year-old. And then again when you have a twelve-year-old

This part makes sense to me. It should have been handled differently.
I feel a long-winded rant coming on about the mistakes we made when the little school was new, trail-blazers, rugged pioneers and all that, we talked, we fixed... The point would have been that, like the school, the HP Chat Admins screwed up, that it's understandable for people with good intentions to do so, live and learn, it probably won't happen again, bla bla bla... (must.... control... rant reflex...) Some other time, perhaps.

That's a tough one to answer. It shows an active intelligence, a sincere effort... (must.... control... rant reflex...)

Passive aggressive. Like an actor is not a liar, passive aggressive doesn't count when it's deliberately transparent. And when it is not truly aggressive and is certainly not passive... (must.... control... rant reflex...)

Two-faced. So much to say, and only a sound bite to work with. How can I like you, respect your intelligence, and then say "you're wrong" when we hit a bump? (must.... control... rant reflex...) And I know I'm lazy. I could have softened it. I need to keep learning that one over and over. (must.... control... rant reflex...)

No one wants to come here and deal with this sort of tension...
This site has gone to crap because all of our mods/admins are either still wearing diapers or are acting like they are, and are not setting good examples.
I think you could find a better way to argue your differences...such as a PM. Try it. Much less juvenile.

I like you Mione. I really do. We've had good discussions and we get along pretty well, but this is an example of what makes this site seem juvenile sometimes. If you don't want to participate in this discussion, don't. It's as simple as that. We don't need to relegate every discussion that ends up being only two people for a while to PMs.

but has everything to do with the original problem.
[/b][/quote]
No one is here for a lecture from you on your attitudes about young men.

Yes, I know. All to well.

The four topics you've listed are probably the only quotable ones on the page. I didn't notice any of them. Possibly because my eyes were scortched by the vast majority of topics, which were questionable. [/b][/quote]
Name them.

That's a tough one to answer. It shows an active intelligence, a sincere effort... (must.... control... rant reflex...)

Passive aggressive. Like an actor is not a liar, passive aggressive doesn't count when it's deliberately transparent. And when it is not truly aggressive and is certainly not passive... (must.... control... rant reflex...)
[/b][/quote]
Don't play games. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You are always going back and forth in your nice little tone showing me "respect" and then insulting me.

Ok, I'm going.

"When elephants fight, the grass gets trampled."
(ancient chinese proverb?)